


Not Logical, But True

by fresne



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M, Star Trek Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fresne/pseuds/fresne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He thought about logic as cool as the waters of Lake Yuron and closed his eyes. </p><p>What came of that was not logical, but it was true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Logical, But True

**Author's Note:**

> This heavily spoils for the 1st Reboot movie, and the 1st scene of the 2nd movie. Grew out of thinking about Spock's post traumatic behavior in Into Darkness.

Nyota smiled at him as they played the second movement of T'Kai's symphonic interpretation of "Kiri-kin-tha's First Law of Metaphysics". 

It was not logical that he should think of T'Pring. They had never played music together.Their bond had had no smiles in it. He had been the one to sever their connection when he left for Starfleet.

When he had told her of his decision, she had said, "I calculated that this would occur. What you are seeking is not here."

He had almost asked her then how she had calculated what he had not. Despite their bonding, they were strangers to one another.

He had not taken that opportunity. They had gone through the rituals to sever their bond. She had gone on to bond with another. He had felt nothing of her death when Vulcan was destroyed. 

That was not accurate. He had felt the death of millions. It was a well documented psychic phenomenon on Vulcan. Had been a well documented phenomenon. Most significantly when the last atom bombs were dropped. Most significantly until Nero, but the documentation on that event was not yet fully written. 

Now the opportunity to ask how she had known what his decision would be would not present itself again.

Nyota smiled at him and he thought, "It is not logical that I should think of T'Pring in this moment. We were nothing to each other."

Therefore he did not think about her. He did not think about her husband, Stonn, who he had never met. He did not think about their child, T'Kai, named after the composer of the work he and Nyota were playing. Since he was not thinking about them, he could not observe that that was a logical enough connection.

In addition, since he did not think about them, it was not necessary to stop looking at the far wall and resume playing when Nyota asked him what was wrong.

~~~~~~~~  
He listened to the communication from his Father. He did so thrice. 

His Father reported that expansion of the old colony, now New Vulcan, was progressing as expected. The entire crew of the Intrepid had resigned their commissions with Starfleet to do their duty by their people and he repeated his belief that Spock should do the same. His Father reported that he had attempted to contact Spock's brother, Sybok, but he had been unable to do so. He instructed Spock to assist in this attempt. He reported that the High Council, or what remained of it, had voted to abolish the kahs-wan ritual.

His Father ended the communication asking if Spock recalled his sehlat and the way in which his mother had often remarked upon Spock's living teddy bear. 

He was prepared to respond that of course he remembered I-Chaya. He was prepared to respond that he had had far more interactions with I-Chaya than he had with Sybok given their disparity in age and mothers. He was prepared to respond that it was unnecessary for him to resign his commission. 

While he was in the process of having not yet responded, he received a communication from his other self, who informed him that he had spoken to their Father and explained the situation. His other self told him that no more communications of this nature would be forthcoming from their Father.

It was not logical that this communication should cause Spock to desire to strike his own self, and an aged version of that self at that. It was not logical.

Therefore, he did not desire it.  
~~~~~

His other self had the subtle mannerisms of someone who had been through Kolinahr training. Years of meditation that he would have carried out on a world that no longer existed.

Spock lit the candle. He breathed in and he breathed out. He recited to himself, "Logic is the cement of our civilization with which we ascend from chaos using reason as our guide."

Within a minute he found himself throwing the candle at the wall. This was not logical, but that it was the action that he took could not be argued with. That the wall hanging caught fire triggering the fire suppression systems was unfortunate.

Still further unfortunate was that Captain Kirk opened his door and ran inside yelling, "Spock are you alright?"

Covered in the soot of his dignity, Spock said, "Yes, Captain." Or rather, he would have said this had the coughing brought on by the fire suppression systems not rendered him effectively mute. He waved a hand at the wall hanging in the vain hope that that would be sufficient.

Kirk looked from the hanging to the sputtered candle to Spock and back at the candle. He grinned and said, "Trying to set fire to my ship?" He clapped his hand on Spock's shoulder, which should not have resulted in any reaction whatsoever. It would reasonable to be displeased at an unasked for touch, but no more.

It was as his fist made contact with Kirk's jaw that he thought, "This is not logical."

Kirk's reaction to fall back at the blow and laugh was certainly not logical. He rubbed his jaw. "I'm still not letting you set fire to the Enterprise."

Spock put his literally mutinous hands behind his back. "I should be relieved of duty. I am clearly unfit."

"What? For that?' Kirk bent down and picked up the candle. He brandished it at Spock. "It's not as if it's the first time." He tossed it in the air. "So, why are you trying to burn the ship down?"

The truth clogged in his throat until another truth set his tongue free. "It is a private matter." 

Kirk rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I can't take you off duty. We've been ordered to investigate some rumors in the mines on Janus VI. Because that's a great use for a starship. Sending us to look at mines." He tossed the candle and caught it. "Don't worry. I won't send you and Uhura down an empty mine shaft together. We'll all go." He winked.

Spock kept his hands behind his back. "Yes, Captain."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, the candle was useful in the dark. The creature attacked them and they lost their lights. 

Kirk was almost killed. Nyota was almost killed. Spock fired at the creature and kept firing some seconds after it had fled. He removed his finger from the trigger with the application of will power. Against all logic, his hand felt numb. He felt nothing. He could afford no emotions beyond nothing.

Kirk bent down and held the candle's wick to the melted stone. "Thanks Spock. But I think that's enough heat."

He did not look at Nyota when she placed her hand upon his arm. He did not turn to face her when she said, "I'm fine. We're all fine."

He did not look at her. "I can see that."

Kirk cursed softly. He said, "In case you're wondering, wax is hot." He set off around the glowing patch of stone. He was heedless of the danger. 

They followed him. Spock held onto his nothing. He listened for the scraping sound of the creature and came extremely close to killing it. 

He could not hold onto his nothing in the face of waves of anguish coming from the Horta during their mind meld. Doctor McCoy declared himself not a bricklayer and tears flooded down Spock's face and that was logical, because they were the Horta's tears for her species so close to the brink of extinction.

Nyota rapidly built a lexicon that would not necessitate his continued contact with the Horta for communication.

When he could finally remove his hand, he flexed it. The bones felt stiff and brittle. The cessation of grief was not unlike diving into Lake Yuron. He could still recall his Mother teaching him to float. Laughing at a fish that nibbled at her toes. None of the other Vulcan children invited on the trip had done more than study along the water's edge. He could still remember T'Pring watching them from the sandy shore. Her shape outlined by the snow tipped red mountains behind her.

He flexed his hand. He wiped away another remnant of the Horta's grief from his cheek.

Doctor McCoy said, "I'm prescribing rest." Spock did not move. The words did not apply to him. He was not tired. "I'm serious, you pointy eared hobgoblin. Git." He waved a medical device that Spock should have been able to name at him. 

"We'll go back to the ship." Nyota touched his shoulder and smiled. "They have a basic lexicon, but I could use your help with adjusting the universal translator." 

They left McCoy muttering about ununiversal translations.

The work was soothing. When he found tears continuing to leak from the corners of his eyes, he removed them. "It would seem there is still a residual effect."

Nyota hummed at him and distracted him into a discussion of the declension of stone.

~~~~~~~~~

His work accomplished, he stood next to the inaccurately named cold fusion bomb and waited to die. 

He had been the logical person to set the bomb. He had been the logical person to send down so that a civilization would have a chance to evolve. It was not a violation of the Prime Directive. Not so long as they had no understanding that they had been saved. It had been and was logical. His death had always been a possibility. Indeed, there had been a 68% probability given factors too numerous to list given the time constraints of his imminent demise, which was merely the logical end to this causal chain.

As he stood there, he did not wonder what his other self would think of this end. He did not think of Nyota. He did not think of words that had been left unsaid. He did not think about deeds left undone. 

He thought about logic as cool as the waters of Lake Yuron and closed his eyes. 

That he lived was not logical. He wrote the truth of it in his report. 

He went to his room and lit a candle. He recited the words, "Logic is the cement of our civilization with which we ascend from chaos using reason as our guide." He did not throw it at the wall. He did not have time.

Nyota returned and did not speak to him extremely loudly and he had other concerns that occupied his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> If after reading my fiction here, you would like to read more about me and my writing check out my profile.


End file.
